Operation PediPaws

My dog is such a spaz that she has to be sedated at the vet just to be examined. This being said, we have NEVER been able to trim her claws. Actually they are more like talons.

Once, I thought I would try to trim them. She moved as I was squeezing the clippers. Silly me, I didn’t have the styptic nearby. As my heart raced and my palms dripped I ran as fast as I could. By the time I got back upstairs, there was bloody carnage. So, trying to avoid another blood-letting, I picked-up a PediPaws at Walgreens.

The instructions recommend getting the dog used to the damn thing by putting it near her and offering treats. Right! I am more of the impatient forcing type, so the following instructions were right up my alley;

"'Holding Your Pet' If your pet is not comfortable receiving a PediPaws pedicure (after the previous introduction process), you may choose from one of the following suggested approaches. Some people find it easiest to have the pet sit on your lap, while some prefer to have the pet lay on his or her side. You may decide to lay your pet on his or her back. Find a position that works best for both of you."

That sounded good in theory; however she is an 80-90 pound brick-house. The following was somewhat encouraging, even though my husband and I should have known better;

"If your pet resists or tries to squirm away, DO NOT ALLOW IT! The struggling is only temporary. By letting your pet escape, you will reinforce this evasive behavior. YOU ARE IN CHARGE… …NEVER LET HIM OR HER GO!"

We tried many commanding positions. She squirmed her way out of all of them. I think we scared her because she shit on the living room floor, right in front of us! Needless to say, we had to take a “break” against instructional advice.

Round two. Short of hog-tying her, which I kept recommending, we took turns trying to take her down. This is when I banged my head into the wooden arm of the futon and almost knocked myself out. Then her dew-claw punctured and slashed my hand. The slash is about 2 inches long. Now I was pissed.

Although she was panting like she just ran around the globe non-stop, my husband was determined to continue to tire her out (an impossible feat) because she still wasn’t giving in. Being pissed, I pushed her to the ground, straddled her and pushed her head to the carpet. This time my fight or flight syndrome kicked in hard. I was not letting her win.

It took about 50 minutes to dominate her, then 10 minutes (according to the hubby) for the filing. I think the filing took an hour, seeing as I straddled her and experienced extreme hip and thigh fatigue. As of today I have more bruises than I can count. My husband is all scratched-up too, and we just can’t wait to do it again.