Santa or Satan? This is my most common "typo-word" or slip of the pen. I have always wondered; when can I stop lying to my child? I don’t remember how I jumped off that ride. Did my parents blow it? Did I succumb to peer-pressure?
My girl, for the last couple years, has mentioned kids to me that no longer believe in Santa. She’s 10, fifth grade, hmmm… Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.
So, I tell her dad about how I think she brings this subject up to see how we will react. He immediately asked me if we should tell her or not, and if we did, we would tell her after Christmas. That would work for me except this year she’s getting a letter FROM SANTA, mailed from The North Pole. This was my doing. I considered it my own fun, Santa, last hurrah!
In his letter he speaks of the Spirit of Christmas. How it’s not about getting but giving. Giving, he says makes you feel even better than you would when you get. He explains that doing things for others is giving. He encourages her to do things for others like donating from her mass supply of stuffed animals. I had condemned stuffed animals since my own childhood. My mantra was, “They’re useless and they gather dust”. She calls them “plushes”. Every one of her plushes has had love rained upon it. Love, and imagination, much like a Velveteen Rabbit factory. She has completely changed my heart toward plushes. The idea of her passing them on warms my heart further.
I would love to be free of the Santa Conspiracy, he has represented to me the ugly, money-sucking, capitalistic journey that ‘tis the season. He may even be anti-Christ, in that he is diametrically opposed to Jesus. Learning that Christmas trees are a leftover Pagan tradition, did not help my attempt to be accurate about Christmas. Christmas was losing its flavor.
Later, my baby made Christmas fun again. But through the years as her critical mind developed my guilt multiplied.
I want Santa out of our Christmas. I want to focus on love, winter, and colors of the season, carols, food, hugs, kisses, smells, and the birth of Jesus. Santa is a square peg in my heart chafing the empty hole that Jesus is trying to fill.
